Book Review: Bringing Up Bébé by Pamela Druckerman

A Graceful Glimpse into French Parenting, From One Mama to Another

As mamas, we’re always gathering wisdom - whether it’s from our own mothers, sisters, late-night Google searches, or well-worn books on the nightstand. One book that gently challenged and reshaped my perspective on motherhood is Pamela Druckerman’s Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting. It’s not your typical parenting manual - it’s part memoir, part cultural study, and full of both gentle humor and poignant insight.

Written by an American journalist (married to a British man) who finds herself raising children in Paris, Druckerman shares her personal journey into motherhood with a blend of warmth, curiosity, and a touch of vulnerability. She invites us to observe, question, and even admire the parenting style she encounters among French families - one marked by calm confidence, mutual respect, and a surprising amount of freedom (for both parent and child).

You can find the book on Amazon here:
👉 Buy Bringing Up Bébé on Amazon

Why I Love This Book

As a mama who deeply values intentional parenting, holistic health, and cultivating a home filled with both freedom and structure, I found Bringing Up Bébé deeply inspiring. Druckerman’s writing is incredibly relatable - she’s not offering a prescription for parenting perfection, but rather a window into a world that does things just a little differently... and often, beautifully.

Her reflections on life as a new mother in Paris - navigating the playgrounds, the pediatricians, and the kitchen - are laced with real-life examples and honest struggles. And through it all, she draws thoughtful comparisons between American and Parisian parenting, offering gentle encouragement for us to slow down, observe, and maybe take a few cues from our sisters across the Atlantic.

The French Way: What Makes It So Different (and Intriguing)

1. Children as Part of Society, Not the Center of It

In France, children are cherished - but they aren’t the center of the universe. That may sound a bit harsh at first, but the beauty of it lies in how the entire family thrives as a result. French parents view their children as part of their world, not the entirety of it. Kids are expected to adapt to adult life (not the other way around). They’re brought along to restaurants, encouraged to sit at the table and participate in conversations, and are expected to learn patience and self-control from an early age.

Druckerman shares how French children eat what the adults eat. There is no “kid menu” of beige, processed foods. Instead, daycare menus are planned by chefs and reviewed by health and nutrition boards. Even toddlers are served leek soup, endive salad, and camembert. That level of respect for a child’s palate is refreshing—it says, “You are capable. You are part of this.”

2. Independent Play and Real-Life Participation

French parents don’t hover. One of the most freeing things I read in this book was the idea that you don’t need to entertain your child every moment of the day. In fact, the French see it as a disservice. They believe strongly in “awakening” - letting the child discover the world at their own pace, through open-ended, independent play.

They also invite children into everyday life - into the kitchen to help stir the soup, into the laundry room to sort the socks, into the living room to help care for younger siblings. This builds not just competence, but a sense of belonging.

3. Firm Boundaries, Wide Freedom

This is one of my favorite French philosophies. French parenting is not permissive. It’s very structured, but the boundaries are clear and few, which gives children a safe space in which to explore freely. Druckerman gives a beautiful example of this: at bedtime, she and her husband would tuck in their twins and then spend the evening alone. The boys were allowed to stay up in their room and play quietly if they wished, but the rule was firm: they could not leave their room. This small boundary gives children autonomy within a defined space. It’s respectful and empowering.

4. Teaching Patience and Resilience

Patience isn’t just expected - it’s taught. French children aren’t handed snacks every time they whimper or entertained every time they’re bored. At daycare, mealtimes are scheduled, and even toddlers learn to wait. They’re encouraged to engage their minds, occupy themselves, and even endure the occasional (gasp!) moment of boredom.

And perhaps even more refreshing? French parents don’t shower their children with constant praise. Accomplishments are acknowledged, of course, but not in a way that teaches children to perform for applause. It creates an inner confidence that doesn’t hinge on external validation.

The Pause: French Sleep Training and Baby Autonomy

One of the most well-known aspects of the book is “The Pause.” Instead of rushing to pick up a fussing baby, French parents give it a moment - literally a pause - to see if the baby can settle back on their own. It’s not neglectful; it’s observational and respectful. This approach, combined with a consistent rhythm and an emphasis on full feedings, results in French babies “doing their nights” (sleeping through the night) far earlier than their American counterparts. According to the book, by four months old, most French babies are sleeping through the night - and nearly all by six months.

Pregnancy, Postpartum, and Prioritizing Mama’s Health

Another area where the French model shines is their approach to maternal health. There’s an emphasis on taking care of the mother, physically and emotionally. French mothers are encouraged to eat healthfully during pregnancy but not to obsess or adopt extreme restrictions. After birth, pelvic floor therapy and physical recovery are prioritized by the healthcare system. There is a cultural expectation that mothers care for their bodies, not out of vanity, but because a strong, healthy mama can better care for her family.

There’s also a beautiful recognition of the woman as a whole person, not just “the mother.” French mothers often return to work, have date nights, and maintain their identity outside of motherhood. That struck a deep chord with me, especially as a working mama who’s trying to navigate balance and boundaries with grace.

Reflections and Considerations

Reading Bringing Up Bébé stirred something in me - a longing to slow down, to observe more, to expect more from my children, and to model a calmer, more grounded motherhood. But it also led me to wrestle with some honest concerns.

While I deeply admire the French emphasis on independence and boundaries, I do wonder about the long stretches of time children spend away from their parents, especially during school breaks or weekends when children are sent to extended family or camp. There’s a beauty in the freedom, yes. But also a risk: when children live separate lives, are we unintentionally giving away the opportunity to be their primary influence?

As a faith-filled mother, I’m mindful of the voices and values that are shaping my child’s heart. The French system is largely secular, and with so many hands involved in raising a child - teachers, caregivers, peers - it’s easy to wonder: who is truly forming the moral compass? As much as I believe in community and support, I also believe that parents were uniquely chosen to be their children’s guides. That’s a responsibility I don’t take lightly.

Still, there’s so much good here. So many practices that are easy to admire and even easier to apply in our own homes, with our own values as the foundation. I’m not trying to become a French mother. But I am becoming a more intentional one, and that, to me, is the real gift of this book.

Final Thoughts

Bringing Up Bébé is not a manual; it’s a mirror. It holds up another way of doing things and invites you to consider your own. You don’t have to agree with everything. But you’ll walk away with fresh eyes and maybe a few ideas worth weaving into your own motherhood rhythm.

If you’re a mama who values structure with softness, autonomy with attachment, and health for the whole family, this book will speak to you.

☕ Pull up a chair, pour yourself a warm drink, and dive into Bringing Up Bébé; you may just find it becomes a beloved companion on your parenting journey.

👉 Buy Bringing Up Bébé on Amazon

📚 Want More Thoughtful Reads for Motherhood + Home?

If Bringing Up Bébé inspired you as much as it did me, you’ll love the curated book lists I’ve created with intention, love, and a heart for lifelong learning:

• 💛 Books for Kids – Beautiful, meaningful stories that nurture character, wonder, and joy.

• 🏡 Homeschooling Books – From gentle philosophies to practical guides, these are the reads that have helped me create a rich learning environment at home.

• 🌿 Parenting + Homemaking Books – For cultivating a home full of peace, purpose, and grace.

I hope you find something that speaks to your heart and supports your journey!